bladespark | On the subject of Growly

I never thought it would cause so much drama to defend somebody I don't even like that much. But I really don't care. Here's my whole stance, right out in public, because I know there are a lot of people who don't like her. I could write up a huge essay about why I'm pretty sure I know Growly well enough to say something about her, even though we're not friends. But I won't. That's immaterial. The simple fact is this:

I've said she's honest. End of story.

You don't believe me, well... that's your problem, and not mine. I would rather live in a world where sometimes I am shocked at the bad behavior of people I liked, than live in a world where I never trust anybody because somebody could hurt me. I would rather live in a world where people can give sincere apologies and get second chances. I would rather occasionally fall for BS than never trust anybody. I would even rather sometimes get stung than never trust anybody I've ever heard something bad about. There's a whole room full of convention goers in the Rocky Mountain area that heard something bad about me. I'd sure hope that most of them would be willing to give me a chance anyhow. So I'd rather give folks a chance myself, even if I do sometimes get hurt.

But you know what? I have a pretty finely honed BS meter, and I'm not seeing any here. I still say Growly is kind of a b*****, but so am I. Rudeness and dishonesty are not the same thing. So if you want to bash on her for being rude, go ahead. But if you're going to imply that she's some kind of conniving backstabber, I'm going to take that as a personal insult, because I've vouched for her honesty. So if you must, do it where I won't see it, because I'm going to be ticked off by it.

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WTF? o_O Uh, wow.
I try to make things better and it ends up making things worse? Ehhhhhhh??

Kind of hurts.

To whomever is reading this, I don't play games. What I say is what I mean. I'm not on some sort of super sekrit internetz mission to mess with people's lives.
I have way too much to worry about in my real life to want to cause drama on the intertubes.
If you have a problem with me, contact me privately so we can work things out. It honestly isn't fair to judge someone when you've never met them.

well, i witnessed your conversation with growly, and then i saw harli's post... the immediate thoght i had go through my head was something like this--

It feels really good when you unload a grudge. Growly has always struck me as the kind of person who feels terrible when she knows that someone doesn't like her... and I'm guessing that she felt so good after realizing you guys could be on friendly terms, even if you're not exactly considered "friends"

If she thought that felt good, why wouldn't she feel empowered to go and try to set things right with some other people?

Anyhow... That was kinda the train of thought that went through my head.

And yes, that was exactly what I was thinking. If Harli wants to read more into it that there is, there's nothing I can do about it. I just wish she would say SOMETHING directly to me instead of just being completely silent.

Well, apparently she's just still not sure she wants to talk to you at all. *shrugs* I could be happier if all my friends got along, but I guess the world isn't made of happy rainbows and fluff and kittens after all. (Who knew?) Dunno if she'll come 'round eventually or not.

*nods* I can understand why she'd be wary. Seemingly overnight transformations are a bit odd, but really I've been struggling to be a better person for a while now.
Most of it stems from low self-confidence. Worse I feel about myself, worse I feel about others.

it's not!? *sobs*

Well, I like all three of you guys... enough that you guys make up a third of my friends list.

I would love it if everyone was on good terms.

I know you're not a deceitful person... I also know that Harli has experienced enough deceitful people to be legitimately suspicious of people's motives, and that's a bummer.

It is hard to prove that you're on the level if people don't give you a chance, and it's also hard to give people second chances when you've been burned enough times to make second chances unappealing...

I don't really know what the answer is... but my personal hope is that it works out between you guys...

Me too. *nods*

you know what's funny... i bet if you all lived in close proximity and were able to hang out together, you'd probably get along, because the communication would be easier with intonation and body language... and there would be less miscommunication. Actually, i feel that way about much of my friends list... except katzedrache... we read each others complete sarcasm and deadpan tongue-in-cheek humor without fail.

The relative anonymimity of the internet dehumanizes the people we interact with, and makes it much easier to become a little bitter ball of hate full of 'lulz'.

i tried to remove all the lulz from my journal a short while ago... I dropped furbid horrors, and stupidpetowners... (probably the biggest offenders) I mean it still shows up in some of the journals i read... but it's much less frequent. I think that dehuminizing factor wears on me...

Same, same. As much fun as I had in fursuitsnark, it's obvious I can't handle it.

Heh. I suspect I'm one of the offenders when it comes to posting snarky stuff. I just find it hard to resist making fun of some of the ridiculous people who message me. Result of having a public IM, I suppose.

But stupidpetowners is too much even for me. I've looked in there about three times, and every time I've metaphorically run away screaming. A snarky community that's basically having fun is one thing. One where people take everything personally and accuse people of abuse constantly is over the top. And when I tried out pet_snark_snark, that's supposedly about being snarky at the "one right way" people, nobody there was having any lulz, they were just taking their little petty vendettas somewhere else to fight about them there. I think the only snark community I've seen that's actually just fun is bdsm_snark, where it's expected that the snark is for amusement, not for drama or putting people down. But I dropped that anyhow. Even if I can't resist sometimes making fun of people, I realized that doing it every single day was really dragging me down.

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*giggles madly* Delete or not, but I'm forever going to have the mental image of you running around the intertubes lisping and being limp-wristed at everybody.

what ever do you mean? *gasp*

You're exceptionally silly.

I do still tend to take things very literally though. I mean... I can't help it. Even when it's completely obvious that something is sarcastic, my first impulse is still to respond to it literally.

well, i'll have to keep you informed of my tone through things surrounded by asterrick-astreck-asterex... *flustered* um... by stars.

yeah... that's what i was finding as well... sometimes you can't help but get a laugh out of the way someone else handles something... but when you're actually seeking it out... it becomes a little too time consuming... like your trying to fill a need to feel superior or something...

anyhow... it was to a point when i was skipping through stuff, looking for snark to read... not replying most of the time... but actually seeking it out... plus watching the office, which is snark in a roundabout way... House MD which is deliberate snark, Boston Legal... again with the snark. It is a great for of humor... but it's not really condusive to keeping your head clear for starting up good relationships.
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i havent contacted you yet because im not sure what do say. i need some time to gather my thoughts.

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