bladespark | Red flags, and sadness.

Red flags, and sadness.

You know, looking around fandom spaces, I keep feeling startled, surprised, depressed, and then I guess just resigned, when I see HOW MUCH Harry Potter content is still everywhere.

Sure, the creator being shit doesn't mean the fandom is culpable, and people don't HAVE to give up stuff they love because it's "problematic" I am the LAST person on earth to think that! Seriously, my love for problematic media his no bounds, I read and write some WILD shit.

But I also remember how I felt, as I was boxing up the books to move last year. I just...couldn't love them anymore, knowing. So they got dumped in the donate box, along with a few "you know, this is objectively bad writing, nope" books and one other author whose personal actions also ruined things for me.

I literally cannot ignore the author and enjoy the books when it comes to HP, because they're SO tied to somebody who's SO bad, in an "actively working to harm me personally" sort of way. I'm able to not give a shit if Lovecraft was awful (in fact writing Lovecraftian fiction that Lovecraft himself would have loathed is one of my favorite things!) but he's not here to use his fame against immigrants, there's a degree of separation there that doesn't exist for HPotter as it does for HPL. (Well, and I knew what he was when I began reading him, there was no sudden betrayal. I could write about Lackey, who I still think did great things and I still don't mind much if other people support her, but the personal nature of her betrayal has destroyed her work for me so completely, even if she's not using her money/fame to harm me or anybody else. Sigh.)

I digress a lot, sorry.

To get back to the point, it feels a little bit like people who can go "Oh, sure JK is shit but the books are still my favorites, this is still my fandom" don't actually feel anything about people like me. Hell, some of them feel plenty, some of them outright hate me, but in non-mainstream, mostly fannish spaces, basic trans rights are actually the norm, and isn't that lovely? I'm glad of that, but it makes it all the more shocking to realize that still reading, writing, and enjoying new HP fanfic is nevertheless also the norm in those spaces.

I know people are complicated, and it is in fact possible for one to not lose love for a creation when you lose love for the creator. Heck, that's a big part of the point of Chuck Tingle's AMAZING Harriet Porber books. I literally cried in places while reading the first one. So I know people can genuinely care about trans people and still participate in Potter fandom, at least the not-putting-money-in-JK's-pockets parts of it like say AO3 etc., but I can't help but consider it a red flag now.

One red flag alone maybe means somebody likes the rainbow and today's color is red, of course. I'm not going to give you the boot JUST for writing HP fic.

But I notice. I'm pretty sure we all notice, and remember, and if other flags turn up...

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It's so difficult when you enjoy the world-building of an author and then discover they are a personal pile of shit. I still have my Marion Zimmer Bradley books because I love the world she created, despite the fact that a piece of shit glorifies who she was. And I feel somewhat similar to J.K. Rowling, although she's not as disgusting as MZB. But these are works of fiction that stand on their own - not on the shoulders of the creator, and not because or despite the creator. And I love the books, so for the moment at least, they stay in my bookshelf and are beloved friends.

- Erulisse (one L)

I know that's not how you meant it, but I gotta say that flatly stating that somebody who wants me gone, and quietly dead or murdered or just so legally erased I can't live and therefore suicide, it doesn't much matter to her. Saying that isn't "as disgusting" because it's not the localized case of personal abuse that I guess disgusted you...

Well, you're proving my point, I suppose, that you don't *feel* as much about trans people's situation as you do about other things.

I wish people would stop with what's worse/better, really? A billionaire encouraging genocide against an entire demographic may not personally disgust you the way sexual abuse does, but I just... I really wish you hadn't put it that way.

Edited 2022-07-04 01:03 (UTC)

Here from my Network page, and I just wanted to say thank you for writing this, because I'm a trans man and I feel the same way. I cannot engage with HP anymore _at all_, not even fanfic. I know there are people writing HP fic with trans versions of the characters as a big "fuck you" at Rowling and that's valid** and Tingle's Harriet Porber stuff is AWESOME [Tingle in general is awesome], but as far as other people carrying on like business as usual... well, I also don't like telling people they have to give stuff up because it's problematic [I write problematic ships, kink, etc] but if someone's still into HP after JKR's TERF fail I tend to watch them a little more carefully to see if other red flags come up, it's true.

Anyway hi, and thank you. Solidarity fistbump.

**With that said, a lot of cis people don't know how to write trans people, but that's a whooooooole 'nother can of worms.

Thank you!

And I hear you on ALL of that, including the cis people being soooooooooooooooo bad it it, omg. Sometimes to the point where I just have to laugh. Though tbh? It still feels like a positive step. So long as it's not portrayals that are meant to other and put down trans folks, I want to see cis people give it a go, even if they fail! Even the fetishy ones, really? I mean, plz to not approach ME in a fetishizing way, but I'm kinky, I get it. Knowing somebody out there thinks I'm the epitome of sexy when I'm the opposite of mainstream sexy...it's nice, so long as they keep that fantasy/reality bound and don't creep AT me.

Heck, I'm trying to be better about including POC myself, and as somebody white as snow I'm sure I'm failing at least some, but I think it's worth trying.

Oh, I agree - I'm happy that people are trying, I just wish more of them would ask a trans friend/acquaintance to do a sensitivity beta if only for a basic pronoun check or something.

Knowing somebody out there thinks I'm the epitome of sexy when I'm the opposite of mainstream sexy...it's nice, so long as they keep that fantasy/reality bound and don't creep AT me.

Saaaaaaaaame.

I write pr0n involving FTM characters [whether T4T or cis-on-trans lovin'] and I try to find that balance between hot smut and fetishizing. [But also, as a trans man I so rarely see good FTM porn that I have to write the things I want to read...]

Reasons why I'm an erotica writer number...well, three or so, me just being *horny* takes spot number one, and a big fuck you to my prudish upbringing gets place two. :D But yes! More trans, queer, poly, kinky, everything I am and never see, that is why I write! Gotta put that stuff out there!

I relate to that too LMAO - Can I add you?

Go ahead! :D

OK, I've added you! 😸

Woo! Likewise! I mean, I am noooooooot super active here, my hummingbird-on-meth brain has been lured into using Twitter a lot? But I do still say something or other and read a post or two now and then. And you seem very much my kinda person, having a look at your blog. :3

I have some people on my f'list who are not terribly active, so it's OK, and... LOL thank you, saaaaame. I wrote a Chuck Tingle inspired fic called Pounded In The Butt By The Silmarils last year, to give you an idea of what my brain is like. 😂

GASP! I must read it! I've written one Tingle fic myself, and it's nooooot my best work, I was trying to work in his style a bit? Needs polish, he's so Entirely Himself, and I wobbled about it quite a lot and I'm not sure I really hit the POINT I was going for? But anyhow, I am off to have a look at this right this minute.

I suppose I’m fortunate that I ran out of steam on Harry Potter after Book 4 (I think). I did collect and read the entire series (in hardbound editions), but each subsequent book got worse and worse (and longer and longer) in my view. JKR needed a better editor.

But then JKR’s views became known, and I was done with the author and her series, and I donated the books to a used bookstore operated by Friends of the Library, where proceeds went to our city library. My house is clean of JKR and HP.

Unfortunately, there are other authors whose views I’ve learned – and I no longer buy their books – but I haven’t purged them from my library (yet). Prime example is Orson Scott Card. But there are other SF authors I’ve frozen out. Maybe it’s good that I don’t actually read a lot of fiction nowadays.

The fact that I still own and enjoy some Orson Scott Card is part of why I can't entirely judge. I would NEVER buy any books of his new, though, I don't give money to bigots if I can possibly help it, and I wouldn't write fanfiction or spend a ton of my time around a Card-centered community, because there's no way I could feel comfortable there.

Trying to have a library with only books by morally pure authors, I think I'd be down to just the Terry Pratchett, tbh! And even then he's not *perfect* just the author I know who tried the hardest. If I go with "inoffensive, or at least shut up" I could keep at least half the current library!

We all draw our lines in different places for different situations. I wish we didn't have to so often, though. :(

I wonder sometimes if Jo being just one of the more recent pieces of trash authors of worlds I've loved doesn't have an effect on my being unwilling to completely abandon ship. I mean, I was reading Pern in the 80s, so authors being Like That has been something I've been wrangling for decades now? IDK. Though at this point, my interaction with Potter is more ... nostalgic? I haven't read any fic in awhile now, but I doubt I can ever completely hate it because I associate it with bringing good people into my life, so... Shit's complicated?

Shit is VERY complicated, yes.

I see you, and I acknowledge you, and...not much else is coalescing into words right now? In part because my relationship with the 'verse (and far more coherently written AUs of said) is...complicated. On top of JKR's personal batshittery. But it's multifaceted and messy.

(sometimes i think i should write some, just to have my voice out there as an actual trans author. idk. might be easier to stick to origfic (i say, as if i've actually written anything new in like five years)

Some fan-stuff reaches a point where it's an entity of its own, and in some ways the "Potterverse" is, yeah. It's not a black and white issue. Is anything, I wonder?

Death of the author sometimes has to be the actual physical death of the author before it can really be a useful concept, especially for authors that are alive and actively continuing to do harm in the world.

I know there are people out there who are engaging with the material on a critical level with a critical lens about the world created and I wish them all the hits and kudos, but compared to the larger group that is uncritically replicating things, or ignoring the issues in favor of the thing they want to write more of, they're fairly small. I understand not wanting to engage when it's very likely that engaging means encountering someone being hurtful, even if unintentionally.

I'm not doing Potterverse stuff because to get anywhere near my acceptable line, it would need enough salt and spite to turn steak into jerky. Maybe when JKR is gone, and there's been enough time to remember her for the terrible things she did, we can get to work on massively spiting her in an HPL kind of way, but for now, I have fandoms by less terrible creators to play in.

"I have fandoms by less terrible creators to play in." That's a big part of it for me! I mean, Hades is right there, being openly gay, poly, kinky, etc. just for starters! Even if I specifically wanted Hidden Magical World settings or Wizard School settings or Very British settings, there are many options!

A few years ago I did a book purge. Got rid of a large number of books, mostly going to a local thrift shop, some gong to the local public library Friends Of org. A number of books were thrown out due to damage.

But there were several books that were thrown out because of the authors. I found them squicky when I read them and decided I did not want them re-circulating in the local community. These were authors revered by the Puppies and went into subjects that I really didn't want to see in print in the mainstream sci fi genre - me personally. When they co-authored with other authors whom I enjoyed, the things that turned me off weren't present, it was in their solo works that the squick came up.

As far as JKR is concerned, I can see where the tropes are lively and there's all sorts of possibilities for pairing explorations. But the books were rather weak for me overall and were no more than a 'read once' thing. I have not read her detective stories as that's not really my genre and her behavior hasn't endeared herself to me.

I haven't read the detective ones either, I gather they are...uh... I'm told after reading them it's suddenly not very surprising to find she's a bigot?

I've been thinking a lot about J.K. Rowling and Orson Scott Card. I knew through the geek grapevine that Card was wildly homophobic and donated money to anti-gay political candidates but it wasn't like he had eight bazillion followers on social media and put small accounts on blast like she does. He wasn't constantly in the news for it… but Ender's Game was some kind of SFF nerd shibboleth (I eventually read it just to get dudes to stop telling me to read it) but not a cultural phenomenon. It got a movie eventually but there's not a theme park.

I feel like it just quietly faded away as more (better, diverse) SFF got published but I don't see how that's going to happen with Harry Potter when they're still making movies that rake in $$$, the theme park is still operating, and fans just won't let it go… and it Harry has a lot more fans than Ender ever did.

I'm not sure where I'm going with all this. It's just something that's been rattling around in my brain.

If your rules about morality hinge on real harm to real people, HP has a lot more oomph behind the hate-hammer than Ender's Game ever did, is where it goes, I think. Maybe if your rules about morality hinge on a Purity Standard where you want to only support or engage with things that Are Good, then Harry and Ender are equivalent, and both Are Bad, but in the real world, purity standards themselves do a LOT of harm, so, well, yeah. I feel like the two properties ARE fundamentally different things, despite the authors being more or less similar levels of awful.

I've gotten to the point where I have an immediate visceral reaction to anything associated with her.

I have all the sympathy for people who found solace in her books when they were younger and are struggling now to reconcile their love for the universe with the realities of the author. But the people who are just blithely "Harry Potter fan here!" with no concerns about the harm she does with all her money and influence - I will judge them pretty harshly.

I try not to judge too much on that alone because I'm in a glass house here, I can't throw stones. The number of VERY shitty people with books in my library is high! (Though partly because the library is like 2k books at this point, and that's a lotta authors.) But somebody who doesn't even throw me a "I know she's shit, but" bone, well... Pretty much, yeah. I'm glad in my own friends group the side-eye towards her is common, at least?

I didn't talk a lot about it at first because so many of my friends were Harry Potter fans but even before anyone knew JK was an asshat bigot about trans people there was always an elitist vibe I got from the books that I found really disturbing. "Muggle" sounds way too much like the N word to me and there's a scene fairly early in the first book where Harry asks the (IMHO very reasonable) question about if wizards, etc. are real why does it have to be kept secret and he is basically told "we don't want THOSE people bothering us with their problems". Frankly, if I found out I had real fucking magic powers I'd start snapping my fingers and eliminating a lot of diseases and social problems, 8:00 AM, day one.
BTW, I get a giggle out of those C'Thulu plushies partly because Lovecraft would have had a shit fit if he'd seen that when he was alive....

Edited 2022-07-04 22:28 (UTC)

Very true.

I can give fiction a pass for BEING FICTION, on that front? I write Hidden World stories myself, and in my latest one, somebody calls the magic world "the one percent" and they ARE. They absolutely are in the HP universe as well. Which, it's the "I was nobody and I became somebody" fantasy, and you can make excuses for people who just want that without thinking too deep about it.

But... Yeah.

At the skating rink the other day I struck up a conversation with someone who was clearly very nerdy etc, and then we were joking about spending all our money on fandoms, and she said something about Harry Potter, and I think my face did a Horrified Expression. She immediately clarified that she only buys stuff from fanartists! She doesn't spend money on JKR's output! And I said that I just found it hard to love the series at all after everything, and we moved on because I had known this girl ten minutes and I didn't want to press.

But oy. Wearing HP merch in public is publicly being a fan, regardless of the provenance of the merch. Which means tacitly supporting her Very Public Views that JKR is actively and powerfully campaigning for--JKR has explicitly and repeatedly said she thinks all her fans agree with her viewpoints. If this isn't a problem for someone, then clearly they don't care about trans folks, it is just that simple. And so, I disengage and I distance and those people are diminished in my opinion.

There are many, many better authors to love. Even supporting terrible authors with less cultural clout would be a better option in an objective sense.

Meanwhile, I love the Widdershins series, lovecraftian m/m romance in which the author appears to be trying to make Lovecraft spin hard enough in his grave to power a small nation. A wonderful experience.

Widdershins sounds like something I should look into!

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Red flags, and sadness.

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