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The topic of virginity kink came up elsewhere, in conjunction with a really awesome Hades fic where the premise is that Zagreus being reborn from the Styx restores his body to how it was before he began his runs, and thus before he got fucked by Thanatos, so he was a virgin. He's transmasculine in this, so it involves him having a hymen, and I could go on for AGES about the casual "Oh, yeah, these characters are trans, it just is, they're gods, they can do whatever they like" vibe in the Hades fandom, it's awesome. But another day, today we're here for virgins.
Anyhow.
In this story, after Zagreus figures out why sex is always painful at first, he uses "I'm a virgin again" to get Thanatos worked up about how kinky that is, getting to "take" his virginity over and over, in different ways.
"Purity" never comes into it, because of course from an "untouched" POV Zagreus fucked Megaera first anyway. Just in this setting that apparently never involved penetration. (It's not brought up in the fic at all, but it's canon that Zag and Meg were a thing.)
My point here is that while for many people a virginity kink is about a Christian concept of purity and innocence, that's not the only thing that comes with it being somebody's first time. I don't give a fuck about how "unsullied" a character is, tbh. That's not hot to me, and irl that's a weird thing to care about.
No, I like virginity in stories for other reasons.
Firstly, frankly, it's fun writing a character who's clueless and inexperienced discovering what sex is like. I remember me being at that point in my actual life, and the "Holy shit, no wonder people get obsessed with this, it's amazing!" feels are great! :D It's especially fun for me to write characters getting there when they're older, like I did. (I was 24, I think, the first time I had an orgasm?) People who were disinterested, thought they were asexual (were/are asexual, but found a reason to try it anyway) whatever. Hadesgame is great for that, because you can VERY MUCH imagine Thanatos in particular thinking he was completely indifferent to sex for centuries and then finding out otherwise! It also works for Good Omens and the "not making an effort" thing. Somebody who's never had genitals in the first place might think they're not into sex, but then putting some on and trying it out could blow their mind. I've written that story!
As an aside, I've talked elsewhere about how I don't like ancient characters being virgins without a reason, but with Than it honestly fits his characterization. He's cool, detached, not much interested in mortal things, and then Zagreus flusters the fuck out of him, breaking all that down. That dynamic works in a way a lot of "ancient being was a virgin until the One True Love turned up" stories don't. You can't have somebody saving themselves for centuries for the right one before they even know the right one exists. Real people don't work like that. Somebody who was just waiting for the right one is very likely to find a lot of wrong ones that look right over that span of time. I've certainly been there and done that!
To get back to virgins, though, another thing I like is writing awkward disasters who don't know how to do anything learning together, or one such awkward disaster being lovingly shown the way to pleasure by a more experienced partner. It's such a great flavor! It's a little silly but a lot sweet, and it feels very realistic, too. Sex is sometimes awkward and people are doofuses in bed. That belongs in stories too, not just the "perfect" porno times.
And lastly, I adore the idea of the trust of a first time.
That one can look, on the surface, like the purity bullshit, so I feel a little squirmy about it, I don't want anybody reading a sweet, romantic, "I got to be your first? What a gift!" story and think I mean the Christian nonsense of giving up one's purity and now being used goods, when I say it's a gift. Because you're not used goods, or sullied, or anything like that after having sex the first time. That isn't what the gift is. The gift isn't "I got your virginity" the gift is "You haven't trusted anybody else enough to be this intimate before now, and you trust me? Wow." The gift is one that can be re-given a second time, because it's not about a loss of virginity, it's about somebody who's been unable to trust, unable to let go enough, and finally did. That's what makes the "first time" aspect special.
Adding: The gift can even be given long after the loss of virginity, when something has caused a character to withdraw from sex (as is the case in stories like Broken Wings, where the characters are too traumatized to want that intimacy, but then the recovery process and the trust means that they can be together again in the end.) Because again, it's not about a loss of purity that can never be gotten back, it's about intimacy and trust. It's about something special, but it's not about this silly idea that you're diminished or whatever by having sex.
Now because I am me, I will tag on that if the purity/used goods thing makes you hot-under-the-collar, that's fine. Fucked up, nasty shit can be hot as fuck! This is me here, writer of underage, non-con, guro, and all other forms of "that's so wrong, sweet!" stories. I just wanted to talk about how in this particular case it's not what's wrong about the concept of virginity that gets me going, it's what's right about first times.
Anyhow.
In this story, after Zagreus figures out why sex is always painful at first, he uses "I'm a virgin again" to get Thanatos worked up about how kinky that is, getting to "take" his virginity over and over, in different ways.
"Purity" never comes into it, because of course from an "untouched" POV Zagreus fucked Megaera first anyway. Just in this setting that apparently never involved penetration. (It's not brought up in the fic at all, but it's canon that Zag and Meg were a thing.)
My point here is that while for many people a virginity kink is about a Christian concept of purity and innocence, that's not the only thing that comes with it being somebody's first time. I don't give a fuck about how "unsullied" a character is, tbh. That's not hot to me, and irl that's a weird thing to care about.
No, I like virginity in stories for other reasons.
Firstly, frankly, it's fun writing a character who's clueless and inexperienced discovering what sex is like. I remember me being at that point in my actual life, and the "Holy shit, no wonder people get obsessed with this, it's amazing!" feels are great! :D It's especially fun for me to write characters getting there when they're older, like I did. (I was 24, I think, the first time I had an orgasm?) People who were disinterested, thought they were asexual (were/are asexual, but found a reason to try it anyway) whatever. Hadesgame is great for that, because you can VERY MUCH imagine Thanatos in particular thinking he was completely indifferent to sex for centuries and then finding out otherwise! It also works for Good Omens and the "not making an effort" thing. Somebody who's never had genitals in the first place might think they're not into sex, but then putting some on and trying it out could blow their mind. I've written that story!
As an aside, I've talked elsewhere about how I don't like ancient characters being virgins without a reason, but with Than it honestly fits his characterization. He's cool, detached, not much interested in mortal things, and then Zagreus flusters the fuck out of him, breaking all that down. That dynamic works in a way a lot of "ancient being was a virgin until the One True Love turned up" stories don't. You can't have somebody saving themselves for centuries for the right one before they even know the right one exists. Real people don't work like that. Somebody who was just waiting for the right one is very likely to find a lot of wrong ones that look right over that span of time. I've certainly been there and done that!
To get back to virgins, though, another thing I like is writing awkward disasters who don't know how to do anything learning together, or one such awkward disaster being lovingly shown the way to pleasure by a more experienced partner. It's such a great flavor! It's a little silly but a lot sweet, and it feels very realistic, too. Sex is sometimes awkward and people are doofuses in bed. That belongs in stories too, not just the "perfect" porno times.
And lastly, I adore the idea of the trust of a first time.
That one can look, on the surface, like the purity bullshit, so I feel a little squirmy about it, I don't want anybody reading a sweet, romantic, "I got to be your first? What a gift!" story and think I mean the Christian nonsense of giving up one's purity and now being used goods, when I say it's a gift. Because you're not used goods, or sullied, or anything like that after having sex the first time. That isn't what the gift is. The gift isn't "I got your virginity" the gift is "You haven't trusted anybody else enough to be this intimate before now, and you trust me? Wow." The gift is one that can be re-given a second time, because it's not about a loss of virginity, it's about somebody who's been unable to trust, unable to let go enough, and finally did. That's what makes the "first time" aspect special.
Adding: The gift can even be given long after the loss of virginity, when something has caused a character to withdraw from sex (as is the case in stories like Broken Wings, where the characters are too traumatized to want that intimacy, but then the recovery process and the trust means that they can be together again in the end.) Because again, it's not about a loss of purity that can never be gotten back, it's about intimacy and trust. It's about something special, but it's not about this silly idea that you're diminished or whatever by having sex.
Now because I am me, I will tag on that if the purity/used goods thing makes you hot-under-the-collar, that's fine. Fucked up, nasty shit can be hot as fuck! This is me here, writer of underage, non-con, guro, and all other forms of "that's so wrong, sweet!" stories. I just wanted to talk about how in this particular case it's not what's wrong about the concept of virginity that gets me going, it's what's right about first times.