Turning year.

[bladespark]

Turkey day has been and gone, and I had no turkey.

But the turkey will come tomorrow, so all is good! (Because of JJ's parents' business, they and he have had to work like mad people these last few days, to get a week's worth of things done in three days, and thus no pies were baked, nor rolls, nor anything prepped on Wednesday, and if you want a proper Thanksgiving you must do those things the day before. Thus, those things were done today, and the feast shall be tomorrow.)



This time is the time of climbing darkness. I used to like that. I'm a night owl by nature, and by choice as well. Dark has always felt like home to me. The night was my time, when nobody would bother me or expect anything of me. Day was for chores and school and work and duty, but night was my own, and the lengthening of night somehow cheered me up. I liked the lengthening of day too, my birthday is the longest day, and I always felt that was somehow special. But night was special in a private, personal sort of way. Day was for public celebration, the night for private rejoicing.

I still do like the night, but I'm no longer so happy about this time of year. Because now this is also the time of coming 'round of awful anniversaries. The anniversary of my hurtful parting of ways with Chris, the anniversary of my accident, and of the first of my emotional problems in FLEET that eventually led to my leaving that august organization. (Can I call FLEET august?) These all have passed or shall pass shortly, and it's all got me a little down. Add on being slightly stressed over my workload and my seeming inability to actually WORK sometimes, and my being a little sick, AND my sleeping ten hours a night and still having no energy, and really just now I'm very blah. Blahdeblahdeblah. Tomorrow will be a good day, and I might even actually take the day off completely and not sew, though that's just taking away from one stress pile and adding onto another, really. But relaxing is good, and I need to do it. I just need to work too.

Sorry if I mope all over any of you too much. I just have a lot of things on my mind just now, and most of them are kinda not happy things, I'm afraid.

Comments

[techmav.livejournal.com]

*scritches da dragon*
No need to apologize, it happens.

[puppetmaker40.livejournal.com]

Mope away. I have only been reading your web log for a short time compaired to many here. I find you a wonderful artist and a thoughtful decent human being with a quick wit.

[kainhighwind-dr.livejournal.com]

No shame in feeling overwhelmed, it happens to all of us (well, some have more than their fair share of stress to deal with, but still).

No shame in wanting to take it easy either. Take some time to sit back and recharge completely. I know intimately how it feels to have no energy or drive to do anything, and it's a terrible feeling at times. Just keep faith that you can and will get better.

[mavikfelna.livejournal.com]

::HUGS::

Sometimes life is like that. You're an awesome person and you will get through it. It'll take some time, but the memories that hurt will fade eventually to where they don't hurt, where the anniversaries are not so momentous.

Be well and know that you are loved and wanted.

--Mav

[lin-chan.livejournal.com]

You know, the sleeping thing may be a physical manifestation of depression in some variety. It seems there's been a lot dragging you down lately, (like, say, the last handful of months..).
And an extended period of time exposed to those feelings can sometimes create a chemical imbalance. From what you've been posting recently, you've been sleeping more than usual, are often still exhausted, can't find the motivation to work, and your immune system is on the fritz.
Depression sounds at least to me like it's playing a minor part in all this.

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

If it were depression, then last spring I would have done nothing but sleep. Right now I am a cheery ball of happy compared to how I was then.

I think there's something physiological behind it, rather than psychological. The depression probably isn't helping, but I doubt it's the primary factor.

[2dlife.livejournal.com]

Depression manifests itself in different ways even in the same person and it is often a compounding factor. (Depression makes you tired, reduces your appetite, makes you more succeptible to disease, which wears on you more...)

[silveradept]

These things happen. Hopefully, they pass away quickly. Sometimes, they gang up on you. You'll get through them. Just don't be afraid to ask for help or snuggles.