It's Eurovision time!
May. 19th, 2013 10:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bladesparkI am watching this year's Eurovision songs on youtube and then writing my impressions of them, because why not? At this point I can probably call it a tradition.
France http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQwiQj5Dyj8
Wow. That is some serious bed-head. It's halfway to being dreadlocks it's so tangled. This is supposed to be attractive? The song is... okay, I guess. ...and now she is fondling herself. WTF. She has a good voice, but the over-sexualization here is kinda bugging me. So is the camera work. It's okay to hold still for a few seconds now and again. I feel sea-sick. I hope that all the songs aren't filmed like this. Score: Meh
Lithuania http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVzarlAIXKE
Off to a nice start. The guy is cute. I'm already feeling the urge to shoot the camera guy. HOLD STILL plz. Sweeping shots are fine, but you also need variety. Srsly. The guy's voice is nice. The song is fairly fun so far. Nothing amazing though, just a standard pop love song. Score: Meh
Moldova http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWdHkjAUjUc
Ha ha ha. Her hair! Her dress! Those dancers! This is totally what I watch Eurovision for. Awesome. She has a lovely voice too. I kind of wish I knew what she was singing about, but I totally appreciate when countries use their own language and don't sing in English. Whatever it is, it's very dramatic. The fire lighting effect near the end is awesome. Score: Okay
Finland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uxtGRWCvIU
Euro-pop-tastic! I love this one. It's way too much fun. The costumes are great. Shiny vinyl bridesmaids woo! (And the slave and master bit makes me lol. Kinky!) Score: Awesome
Spain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjjdoOTayko
...am I watching the right country? This is Spain, not Scotland, yes? I guess so, she does seem to be singing in Spanish. Her dress is pretty, though I do wonder what's up with the shoulder bling. Is it just me or is she ever so slightly flat now and then? Dunno. It does seem to be a pretty nice song. And the camera work isn't make me want to shoot anybody. Oh yeah, that last note was definitely flat. Score: Okay
Belgium http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW2LdphU7TU
Oh dear. I sense oncoming drama. Melodrama maybe even. Yeah. "Love kills." How old is this kid, sixteen? He'd be cuter if he ditched the Beiber hairstyle. The camera-swooshing is back. *sigh* What the heck are the dancers doing? The choreography on this is weird. And yes, we know what he's singing, we can hear him. Why are the words on the wall behind him? Nothing about this is any fun except maybe the beat, which is too happy for how emo the lyrics are. Score: Meh
Estonia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLOunvCYRkM
Why is this being shot in black and white. How odd. She does have a pretty voice. Oh hey, now it's in color. With wind blowing in her face. I can't understand a word, but I bet this is a love song. Her dress looks like a wedding dress, is that intentional? It really should have a waist though, that style isn't flattering to anybody above about six. I really do like her voice though. I'm sure whatever she's singing about is quite nice. Score: Okay
Belarus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39ds8BYcmSk
Coming out of a disco ball, dressed in nothing but silver fringe, surrounded by muscular men. Oh my. :D (And what ARE those guys wearing? That is weird. Pants with the crotch halfway down the legs really need to die now) Very catchy chorus, I could see this being a bit of an earworm. Camera person still needs to be shot. Now there are flames shooting up around the stage. Whee! Score: Almost awesome
Malta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxVHnhu1aK4
Ukelele = good sign they're not taking this too seriously. Although once again I question putting words from the song on the wall behind. We're not deaf you know! The song is way fun and catchy though! ...I notice that the ukelele music continues even when they guy on stage is clearly not actually playing. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Apparently this isn't dramatic enough for the camera guy to want to swoosh all over. Yay! Everybody really seems to be having fun with this one. Score: I approve
Russia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3dT2QpteWI
Very pretty. One of those "save the world" ballads, of which every Eurovision needs at least one or two. Pretty nice example of the genre. Though now the camera guy is being weird with the stuff on stage. Why half-obscure the singer behind her stage dressing in half your shots? Ah, there's the expected key-change on the final chorus. XD Nothing surprising, but I do like the song anyway. Score: I approve
Germany http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8LPaowU9js
Bling-tastic! She has bedazzled her arms, since apparently the rhinestone-crusted corset wasn't sparky enough. Hee! Gotta say though... maybe it's just so she can dance and sing, and needs to breathe, but wearing a corset that doesn't have a waistline, but just goes pretty much straight up and down seems counter-productive. It's not actually flattering. Surely a gal with legs like that should have a nice waist and hips too? I can't tell though, the corset covers it. And what's with the wedding train on it? That makes three wedding themed outfits so far. The song is okay, pretty fun happy-pop stuff. Score: Okay
Armenia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FAWe8oq9iE (skip ahead to 0:47)
My. He has a nice voice, and he's pretty cute. I see this appears to be another ballad type song. Though the lyrics baffle me a bit. "Lonely planet, who will start it, who can save you, who can stop it"? Stop what, the planet? And why are we starting it first and then stopping it? Oh well. Nice bit of guitar playing at the obligatory key change there. :D Score: Okay
Netherlands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAe9b-9xA7c
Oooo, DRAMA. This is trying very hard to be artsy, I think. It succeeds better than a lot of songs I've seen though. Whoever wrote the song is very in love with trying atypical resolutions and odd jumps. Some of them work better than others. They got the right person to sing this, she does a terrific job with a difficult song. And has a great voice for it. I think it's growing on me as it goes on. Score: I approve
Romania http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV3xp5ZXSYA
OMG HIS OUTFIT. I love this. This is amazing. Dramatic song, dramatic guy, in the MOST DRAMATIC OUTFIT EVER. ...going for the most dramatic high note ever! ...and he's still going in falsetto. Holy crap this is amazing! There are naked men dancing (well, men in unitards that make them look naked) The background music sounds like dubstep. He is singing like an operatic soprano. I am in love. Now the naked men have ducked under a red sheet and are flailing around... and have produced a woman dressed in gold from under the sheet? Whut? OMG. This could not get more amazing. It is the gayest thing ever and I mean that in the best possible way. Score: Awesome
UK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVr3WOuvHIk
She smokes, doesn't she? And I feel like I should recognize her. These lyrics are horrible. I have no idea what she's wearing. Is that... a train? In black? Half a skirt? I can't tell. Why does she have one shoulder blinged and the other not? Man these lyrics are just awful. I kind of want to give her props for doing this at her age (she has to be older than I am, and most of these folks are like... 18). But that doesn't make this song any good. It is so not. Score: Meh
Sweden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBUJ0u7ZVaE
I am not sure what to make of him. Or his hair. Or his song. It's getting off to a kind of boring start. ... but does improve. It needs a little beat, the mellow bit at the beginning didn't do much for me. His dancers are weird. I have no idea what this is supposed to feel like. He does have a nice voice and I do like that chorus. Everybody is in harem pants, but in earth tones. The guys have ties. His suit has extraneous buttons. What is even going on here? Is this supposed to be a spectacle, or a ballad, or... what? Are they hipsters? Maybe they're hipsters. Score: I am confused.
Hungary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVJddk9YXZo
OMG the guitartist's hair. *laughs* The singer looks kind of... I think he is a hipster. The background projection is very playful. And weird. They're not singing in English so I have no idea what's going on, but I'm not sure I would anyway. The singer is sort of... twitching back and forth stiffly. He looks very uncomfortable. The guitarist is headbanging. This is not a headbanging sort of song. It's all acoustic and playful-sounding. I think I'm going to have to score this one "I am confused" too.
Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k59E7T0H-Us
She is kneeling on the stage. DRAMA. Guys with pipes, people who look like soldiers drumming. I think this is supposed to be saying something about war? It's a little repetitive. Maybe that's on purpose, since the lyrics say "How many times..." She looks very young. That dress doesn't help. And she has the bed-head thing going. What's with that? The lighting certainly makes for a nice spectacle, but I'm not impressed with the song. This was the winner? Score: Okay
Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b208y41n9CQ
Looks like another ballad. I can see that the top comment says he looks like Thor. He kinda does, though I think it's mostly the hair. The song is really quite pleasant. And he's singing it very well. I think he's the only singer so far who's been on stage alone. The understated background is nice too. Aaaaaaaaaaand there's the obligatory ballad keychange! (And I spoke too soon about him being alone, there's the backup singers.) It's amazing how predictable that is. Nicely done though. I like this one. Score: Awesome
Azerbaijan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4PWtkrDi-s
I sense drama... Oh yeah. Dramatic love song go. What on earth is going on with the... whatever it is he's standing on, that seems to have a guy trapped in it? Doing weird gymnastics? Is this a metaphor for something? He seems to be trying to mirror the singer. Which I'm not sure how well that works. Now there's a girl in red running around. This is quite odd. Not as puzzling as the hipsters earlier though, I'm pretty sure they're shooting for something artsy and just failing. Yeah, now the girl and the mirror-guy-in-a-box are being dramatic at each other. Yeah. Score: Okay
Greece http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocFhFNxu5Jg
Oh fun! Gotta love the ethnic stuff. Heee. Madcap Greek polka. Is this a polka? With... metal baritone singing. Awesome! There's no way that trumpet player is actually playing. Oh well! Who cares! This one is fun. The older guy who plays the whatever that is is cool. Score: I approve
Ukraine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czVgNO4HmsY
She is carried on stage by a, er... I don't know how to characterize him. Medieval warrior? Her modern dress clashes a bit with that. (And looks like a wedding dress! That makes four.) Though it kind of makes her look pregnant. She has a nice voice. The song is all right. Lots of key changes. Lots and lots. Wow. ...and then it ends. All right then. Score: Okay
Italy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KS1YMJwppM
All the guys seem to have weird hair at this thing. More love ballads, I bet. (It's in Italian, of course, so I'm not sure, but it sure sounds like.) Oooo more key changes. And dramatic, emotional voice wobbling. *blink* I just noticed he's wearing a SUIT with a dropped crotch. WTF. How is that even a thing? Not like... down to his knees, but still. Score: Meh
Norway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjm-kCOMaPY
Yikes, seizure-inducing opening! Can she walk at all in that dress? This is all very electro-pop. I'm not sure if I like it or not. I guess she can walk in that dress. And the song is kinda growing on me. It has a heck of a lot of bass. She's pretty good, really. It just needs less seizure-flashing-lights. Score: Okay
Georgia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy3AL0MUMbE
More drama. With fog and everything. :D And this makes FIVE wedding dresses. WTF Eurovision. Why is everybody getting married this year? Seems to be a pretty enough little love ballad. With lots of DRAMA. I always wonder about songs where two singers sing right into each other's faces. That seems uncomfortable to perform. Obligatory ballad key change go! The tune is kinda chatchy. I like this better than a lot of the ballads so far. Score: I approve
Ireland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QezVpfDibw
Drums! Knotwork! We are Irish! Singing generic pop! Our knotwork has tribal designs framing it! This makes no sense, and we don't care! It does have a nice beat though. This year was lacking in upbeat, happy-bouncy pop, I gotta say. Be Love! Woo! :D I like this one. Score: Awesome
(Scoring key: Meh, Okay, I approve, Almost awesome, Awesome)
And that's the end. Awesome songs, Ireland, Iceland, Romania, and Finland. Winner: Romania, definitely.
France http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQwiQj5Dyj8
Wow. That is some serious bed-head. It's halfway to being dreadlocks it's so tangled. This is supposed to be attractive? The song is... okay, I guess. ...and now she is fondling herself. WTF. She has a good voice, but the over-sexualization here is kinda bugging me. So is the camera work. It's okay to hold still for a few seconds now and again. I feel sea-sick. I hope that all the songs aren't filmed like this. Score: Meh
Lithuania http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVzarlAIXKE
Off to a nice start. The guy is cute. I'm already feeling the urge to shoot the camera guy. HOLD STILL plz. Sweeping shots are fine, but you also need variety. Srsly. The guy's voice is nice. The song is fairly fun so far. Nothing amazing though, just a standard pop love song. Score: Meh
Moldova http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWdHkjAUjUc
Ha ha ha. Her hair! Her dress! Those dancers! This is totally what I watch Eurovision for. Awesome. She has a lovely voice too. I kind of wish I knew what she was singing about, but I totally appreciate when countries use their own language and don't sing in English. Whatever it is, it's very dramatic. The fire lighting effect near the end is awesome. Score: Okay
Finland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uxtGRWCvIU
Euro-pop-tastic! I love this one. It's way too much fun. The costumes are great. Shiny vinyl bridesmaids woo! (And the slave and master bit makes me lol. Kinky!) Score: Awesome
Spain http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjjdoOTayko
...am I watching the right country? This is Spain, not Scotland, yes? I guess so, she does seem to be singing in Spanish. Her dress is pretty, though I do wonder what's up with the shoulder bling. Is it just me or is she ever so slightly flat now and then? Dunno. It does seem to be a pretty nice song. And the camera work isn't make me want to shoot anybody. Oh yeah, that last note was definitely flat. Score: Okay
Belgium http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW2LdphU7TU
Oh dear. I sense oncoming drama. Melodrama maybe even. Yeah. "Love kills." How old is this kid, sixteen? He'd be cuter if he ditched the Beiber hairstyle. The camera-swooshing is back. *sigh* What the heck are the dancers doing? The choreography on this is weird. And yes, we know what he's singing, we can hear him. Why are the words on the wall behind him? Nothing about this is any fun except maybe the beat, which is too happy for how emo the lyrics are. Score: Meh
Estonia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLOunvCYRkM
Why is this being shot in black and white. How odd. She does have a pretty voice. Oh hey, now it's in color. With wind blowing in her face. I can't understand a word, but I bet this is a love song. Her dress looks like a wedding dress, is that intentional? It really should have a waist though, that style isn't flattering to anybody above about six. I really do like her voice though. I'm sure whatever she's singing about is quite nice. Score: Okay
Belarus http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39ds8BYcmSk
Coming out of a disco ball, dressed in nothing but silver fringe, surrounded by muscular men. Oh my. :D (And what ARE those guys wearing? That is weird. Pants with the crotch halfway down the legs really need to die now) Very catchy chorus, I could see this being a bit of an earworm. Camera person still needs to be shot. Now there are flames shooting up around the stage. Whee! Score: Almost awesome
Malta http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxVHnhu1aK4
Ukelele = good sign they're not taking this too seriously. Although once again I question putting words from the song on the wall behind. We're not deaf you know! The song is way fun and catchy though! ...I notice that the ukelele music continues even when they guy on stage is clearly not actually playing. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Apparently this isn't dramatic enough for the camera guy to want to swoosh all over. Yay! Everybody really seems to be having fun with this one. Score: I approve
Russia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3dT2QpteWI
Very pretty. One of those "save the world" ballads, of which every Eurovision needs at least one or two. Pretty nice example of the genre. Though now the camera guy is being weird with the stuff on stage. Why half-obscure the singer behind her stage dressing in half your shots? Ah, there's the expected key-change on the final chorus. XD Nothing surprising, but I do like the song anyway. Score: I approve
Germany http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8LPaowU9js
Bling-tastic! She has bedazzled her arms, since apparently the rhinestone-crusted corset wasn't sparky enough. Hee! Gotta say though... maybe it's just so she can dance and sing, and needs to breathe, but wearing a corset that doesn't have a waistline, but just goes pretty much straight up and down seems counter-productive. It's not actually flattering. Surely a gal with legs like that should have a nice waist and hips too? I can't tell though, the corset covers it. And what's with the wedding train on it? That makes three wedding themed outfits so far. The song is okay, pretty fun happy-pop stuff. Score: Okay
Armenia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FAWe8oq9iE (skip ahead to 0:47)
My. He has a nice voice, and he's pretty cute. I see this appears to be another ballad type song. Though the lyrics baffle me a bit. "Lonely planet, who will start it, who can save you, who can stop it"? Stop what, the planet? And why are we starting it first and then stopping it? Oh well. Nice bit of guitar playing at the obligatory key change there. :D Score: Okay
Netherlands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAe9b-9xA7c
Oooo, DRAMA. This is trying very hard to be artsy, I think. It succeeds better than a lot of songs I've seen though. Whoever wrote the song is very in love with trying atypical resolutions and odd jumps. Some of them work better than others. They got the right person to sing this, she does a terrific job with a difficult song. And has a great voice for it. I think it's growing on me as it goes on. Score: I approve
Romania http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV3xp5ZXSYA
OMG HIS OUTFIT. I love this. This is amazing. Dramatic song, dramatic guy, in the MOST DRAMATIC OUTFIT EVER. ...going for the most dramatic high note ever! ...and he's still going in falsetto. Holy crap this is amazing! There are naked men dancing (well, men in unitards that make them look naked) The background music sounds like dubstep. He is singing like an operatic soprano. I am in love. Now the naked men have ducked under a red sheet and are flailing around... and have produced a woman dressed in gold from under the sheet? Whut? OMG. This could not get more amazing. It is the gayest thing ever and I mean that in the best possible way. Score: Awesome
UK http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVr3WOuvHIk
She smokes, doesn't she? And I feel like I should recognize her. These lyrics are horrible. I have no idea what she's wearing. Is that... a train? In black? Half a skirt? I can't tell. Why does she have one shoulder blinged and the other not? Man these lyrics are just awful. I kind of want to give her props for doing this at her age (she has to be older than I am, and most of these folks are like... 18). But that doesn't make this song any good. It is so not. Score: Meh
Sweden http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBUJ0u7ZVaE
I am not sure what to make of him. Or his hair. Or his song. It's getting off to a kind of boring start. ... but does improve. It needs a little beat, the mellow bit at the beginning didn't do much for me. His dancers are weird. I have no idea what this is supposed to feel like. He does have a nice voice and I do like that chorus. Everybody is in harem pants, but in earth tones. The guys have ties. His suit has extraneous buttons. What is even going on here? Is this supposed to be a spectacle, or a ballad, or... what? Are they hipsters? Maybe they're hipsters. Score: I am confused.
Hungary http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVJddk9YXZo
OMG the guitartist's hair. *laughs* The singer looks kind of... I think he is a hipster. The background projection is very playful. And weird. They're not singing in English so I have no idea what's going on, but I'm not sure I would anyway. The singer is sort of... twitching back and forth stiffly. He looks very uncomfortable. The guitarist is headbanging. This is not a headbanging sort of song. It's all acoustic and playful-sounding. I think I'm going to have to score this one "I am confused" too.
Denmark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k59E7T0H-Us
She is kneeling on the stage. DRAMA. Guys with pipes, people who look like soldiers drumming. I think this is supposed to be saying something about war? It's a little repetitive. Maybe that's on purpose, since the lyrics say "How many times..." She looks very young. That dress doesn't help. And she has the bed-head thing going. What's with that? The lighting certainly makes for a nice spectacle, but I'm not impressed with the song. This was the winner? Score: Okay
Iceland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b208y41n9CQ
Looks like another ballad. I can see that the top comment says he looks like Thor. He kinda does, though I think it's mostly the hair. The song is really quite pleasant. And he's singing it very well. I think he's the only singer so far who's been on stage alone. The understated background is nice too. Aaaaaaaaaaand there's the obligatory ballad keychange! (And I spoke too soon about him being alone, there's the backup singers.) It's amazing how predictable that is. Nicely done though. I like this one. Score: Awesome
Azerbaijan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4PWtkrDi-s
I sense drama... Oh yeah. Dramatic love song go. What on earth is going on with the... whatever it is he's standing on, that seems to have a guy trapped in it? Doing weird gymnastics? Is this a metaphor for something? He seems to be trying to mirror the singer. Which I'm not sure how well that works. Now there's a girl in red running around. This is quite odd. Not as puzzling as the hipsters earlier though, I'm pretty sure they're shooting for something artsy and just failing. Yeah, now the girl and the mirror-guy-in-a-box are being dramatic at each other. Yeah. Score: Okay
Greece http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocFhFNxu5Jg
Oh fun! Gotta love the ethnic stuff. Heee. Madcap Greek polka. Is this a polka? With... metal baritone singing. Awesome! There's no way that trumpet player is actually playing. Oh well! Who cares! This one is fun. The older guy who plays the whatever that is is cool. Score: I approve
Ukraine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czVgNO4HmsY
She is carried on stage by a, er... I don't know how to characterize him. Medieval warrior? Her modern dress clashes a bit with that. (And looks like a wedding dress! That makes four.) Though it kind of makes her look pregnant. She has a nice voice. The song is all right. Lots of key changes. Lots and lots. Wow. ...and then it ends. All right then. Score: Okay
Italy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KS1YMJwppM
All the guys seem to have weird hair at this thing. More love ballads, I bet. (It's in Italian, of course, so I'm not sure, but it sure sounds like.) Oooo more key changes. And dramatic, emotional voice wobbling. *blink* I just noticed he's wearing a SUIT with a dropped crotch. WTF. How is that even a thing? Not like... down to his knees, but still. Score: Meh
Norway http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjm-kCOMaPY
Yikes, seizure-inducing opening! Can she walk at all in that dress? This is all very electro-pop. I'm not sure if I like it or not. I guess she can walk in that dress. And the song is kinda growing on me. It has a heck of a lot of bass. She's pretty good, really. It just needs less seizure-flashing-lights. Score: Okay
Georgia http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy3AL0MUMbE
More drama. With fog and everything. :D And this makes FIVE wedding dresses. WTF Eurovision. Why is everybody getting married this year? Seems to be a pretty enough little love ballad. With lots of DRAMA. I always wonder about songs where two singers sing right into each other's faces. That seems uncomfortable to perform. Obligatory ballad key change go! The tune is kinda chatchy. I like this better than a lot of the ballads so far. Score: I approve
Ireland http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QezVpfDibw
Drums! Knotwork! We are Irish! Singing generic pop! Our knotwork has tribal designs framing it! This makes no sense, and we don't care! It does have a nice beat though. This year was lacking in upbeat, happy-bouncy pop, I gotta say. Be Love! Woo! :D I like this one. Score: Awesome
(Scoring key: Meh, Okay, I approve, Almost awesome, Awesome)
And that's the end. Awesome songs, Ireland, Iceland, Romania, and Finland. Winner: Romania, definitely.