Me and my weird brain.

[bladespark]

I really should do a "state of the union" write up about who/what is living in my head at the moment, I haven't done one in ages, though admittedly the roll call has been fairly stable for some time now.

I am still sleep deprived. I stayed up just a smidge writing and then getting sexytimes last night, and of course the goober decided that meant she needed to wake up bright and early this morning. *yawn*

I have joined the fandomexchange group, and I'm realizing that I have a couple of problems with trying to participate. I see exchanges that sound fun to write for all the time. But for one there's the "new thing" problem, in that I've never participated in any kind of formal writing exchange before, and never used the AO3 system so it feels alien and confusing and intimidating. And for two, I have zero idea what to ask. Other than pony, all my favorite fandoms are on the obscure side, and I don't really "have ships" the way some people do, I like pairings based on how well they work in a given story, generally. So I have no idea what to ask for, even if I fully understood how the asking process works. And asking for something I don't really want, just so I'll have asked, just so I can write, seems...wrong somehow?

It's one of those barriers that I'm pretty sure is really dumb. It doesn't have to be the deepest desire of my heart to be okay to ask for. And all kinds of people manage to participate in these things, I'm sure the actual process is not that confusing once you try it. But new things really do seem to get harder and harder the older I get. Sigh. Somewhere in my head I'm perpetually about 25, but 25 was a looooooooooooooooong time ago.

*Waves my cane at all you whippersnappers around here.*

I'm sure eventually something will grab my attention hard enough to get me over the hump, but so far nothing quite has.

Comments

[alwaysbeenasmiler]

My headspace used to be chock full however since I only do graphics now instead of rp.. my headspace has been nice and calm

[storme]

I used the AO3 exchange system for the first time over the new year; I was quite intimidated going in but it wasn't in fact as complex as I feared. You'll be fine!

[batrachian]

Half the reason I dropped out of participating in Yuletide was the anxiety about what to ask for. So, yeah. You're not alone.

[novembermond]

it's really hard to ask for things I relate so hard. Having to finish your assignment is one thing but how do you even come up with what you want? This is why I don't do exchanges, and also rarely kink memes.

[disgruntled_owl]

I really relate to your thoughts about pairings. I have a few, but like you said, I think more about how specific story circumstances push characters together or apart, romantically or otherwise.

I'm often in that situation of not knowing what to request when participating in exchanges, too. More often than not, I won't formally sign up but I'll subscribe to an exchange community, check out its AO3 tagset, and write treats for people who are requesting fandoms or types of stories that interest me. This relieves me of the burden of having to ask for something and more often than not, I don't have to meet the word maximums or minimums that apply to formal exchange participants.

When I do formally participate, I'll repeatedly ask for my old standbys (gothic horror novels and movies, especially movies made before 1970) or things that interest me (even if only mildly) but are difficult for me to write myself. Lighthearted or funny stories aren't my forte, so I'll often ask for those. I tend to have the most fun writing for trickortreatex because it has a spooky theme, and for yuletide, because it's large and I tend to find more people who might like the same obscure things I do.

[silveradept]

If the exchange part doesn't work by not having enough things to request, you can always hang out at their pinch hit space and try to grab something as it appears.