:(

[bladespark]

Had what I'm pretty sure was an anxiety attack last night. A sourceless sense of impending doom that just slowly crept up, getting stronger and stronger until I felt like I might actually throw up from it. Got to sleep later than I should, and only with cuddles from my SO, which took the edge off of it a little. Sigh.

I did finally get an idea for the trans furry anthology thing to gel, and wrote about 2k words of that last night, though, so there's that. Going to have a date/playdate for the goober child today, too, so I have something to look forward to.

It sometimes feels that as I'm getting older, my brain is getting more broken, along with my body no longer bouncing back the way it used to. It's a scary feeling. I never used to have anxiety. Hell, I never used to have depression! I know in part that's because I spent my youth completely detached from the world, with almost no socialization or life outside of reading books almost literally every waking moment, I'd probably have wrestled with all this younger, just like I'd probably have had relationships and noticed my actual gender and sexuality younger, if I'd had opportunities to.

Still not a good feeling, though.

Comments

[theuncertainhour]

Anxiety attacks are awful - glad you had cuddles to help, and hope the playdate is relaxing!

[erulissedances]

Depression is insidious. I suffered from it when I was young, and touch on it now and again as I grow older. I've trained myself to look at the positive and hang on for the ride, but that's not always easy and sometimes life gets in the way.

I hope tonight will be easier for you.

- Erulisse (one L)

[silveradept]

Sudden anxiety is not a good thing. I'm sorry about that. And how that you get nothing but acceptance and understanding to try and ward it off.

[adafrog]

{{{hugs}}}

[greghousesgf]

hugs if you want them