You are not "bad at socializing" you're just an ASSHOLE.

[bladespark]

God, I hate that excuse.

Oh, I'm just so bad at this! Oh, I just don't know how to talk to people. Oh, I'm introverted, autistic, shy, nerdy, whatever. Oh, I didn't know what I was doing, I couldn't help myself, I'm just bad at communication.

FUCK YOU.

You speak the English language, you know what words mean, and in this specific case there's not some subtle, ungraspable difference between "I'd like your insight into kink for this story" and "I want you to write the sex scenes of this story in a collaboration."

When I ask what kind of help you're after, and you say the first, when you mean the second, that's not some kind of non-neurotypical inability to parse social norms, that's you fucking lying rather than be honest about what you want, and you KNOW that. You said words that meant NOT the thing you want, you don't have to be some kind of natural genius at social situations in order to understand the fucking words you typed.

It's not even an in-person uncomfortable "why the fuck did I just say that, that's not what I meant" thing, because those words were TYPED and you could have taken any amount of time you liked to look at them and edit them and make them mean what you meant before you sent them. But no, you had to try to play some kind of fucking game to get me to do what you wanted instead of just fucking asking.

(If he'd asked up front, he'd have been politely quoted my commission prices. Since he played games, he got told to fuck off. Honestly gets you places that manipulation never will, fuckwit.)

Goddam, though, I HATE the jackasses who use being introverted and/or non-neurotypical as a shield for being manipulative game-players and creeps. Fuck them sideways.

Comments

[batrachian]

With a rusted spoon.

Ugh, so sorry you had to deal with that. :(

[alexseanchai]

😡

[greghousesgf]

people like that make those of us who legitimately DO have those issues look bad.

[silveradept]

No, that's not just a failure to communicate, that's misleading.

(Like the person who said something insincere as a "compliment" before getting to their complaint that something made them roll their eyes, and then decided to call me not a nice person when I told them off for their unhelpful comment.)

[bladespark]

God, I hate comments like that.

We're not participating in professional critique here, it's fandom and fanfic and hobby and it's supposed to be fun so if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

I got a weird lecture on one of my recent fics, where I mentioned that Crowley might be at least loosely tangential to asexual in a way, and while I got some lovely comments from people saying they were demisexual and felt they related to him and he seemed kinda that way, I got one *snotty* twit with this "Yes, the word you want is demisexual." DUDE. The word I want isn't a word because English hasn't got a word for "I had no genitals therefore I felt nothing sexual because the crotch was blank and the hormone systems weren't in place, and when I installed them then I felt something." If Demisexual people relate and want to claim my depiction for themselves they *can* but you can't tell me that that's "the" word I want because it's not. Demisexual is about feeling desire for people you care deeply about, and if Crowley were demisexual he'd have felt desire centuries ago because the story makes it clear that he's cared about Aziraphale for a looooooooooooong time. People can relate to and claim what they like, but don't tell me what words I need to use for my own fucking depictions of things!

Ahem.

Apparently I'm cranky and ranty today.

[silveradept]

We can be cranky and ranty together about people who choose to deliver their comments in a way that will get them ignored or that will backfire.

[bladespark]

Yesssssssssssss.

I mean I'm really almost never looking for "help you improve" critique. Really I'm not. Yes I do it for money, but that means I take crit from the customers, not from random, self-appointed internet gurus of writing. It's so irritating when somebody acts like they're descending from on high to give me their precious wisdom. Grr.

[silveradept]

Yes. And lots extra special when what they have to say could be captured in a single sentence ("Hey, there's no such thing as homeroom in this schooling system.") and they spend paragraphs on how wrong you are and how painful it hurts them to see you make this mistake, and you shouldn't be offended, because they said your work was "cute and all that", so they satisfied the social convention that says you compliment before you complain.

[bladespark]

Oh my god that is insanely obnoxious. My recent nuisance just confined themself to two paragraphs, and actually the second one was nice, but the first was the utter embodiment of "well, actually..."

[silveradept]

Yeah, "cute and all that" was the sum total of nice they said over two comments (the initial offense and the flounce that followed when I got acid in response (and then apologized, at least as much as their comment was intended in good faith, because I shouldn't expect others to educate me))