Today is not being a good day.

[bladespark]

I feel like the anti-depressants are working, but I'm depressed anyway, because while they're "fixing" the brain chemistry issues, THE WHOLE GODDAMN UNIVERSE IS DEPRESSING right now.

I have a kind of...background "level" feeling. I don't spiral down in horrible thought-circles anymore. I don't feel that gaping pit inside me for no reason.

But whenever I think about the future, the planet, this country, any of that, the pit opens up, and it's terror and despair and horror and I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally not coping super well with it.

And of course there's no solution to that. Think less about the world, but I have to have contact with it, since I'll go stir-crazy if I completely isolate myself.

I already feel isolated enough. I feel so often like I'm shouting into a void, like nobody really cares, like nobody really listens, and like there's nobody I can talk to. This isn't true, I know that, but I feel it all the same. The whole "author self-promotion" thing mostly consisting of exactly that, shouting into the void to little response, really doesn't help, either.

Bleh.

Also I'm stressing out about work and responsibilities and the to-do list. And the "coping via booze" thing is...not actually coping. ("Beer, the cause and solution of all life's problems...")

So yeah. Life kinda sucks. I'm muddling through, but I'm not feeling on top of the world, that's for sure. More like buried under it.

Sigh.

Comments

[batrachian]

*quiet fistbump of solidarity*

[ilyena_sylph]

I feel all of this.

A lot.

[hitokage]

I feel like I could have written this. Like all of it except I am without booze. Or my antidepressants of choice. But otherwise...

[adafrog]

Well, at least you're a little better? {{{hugs}}}

[bladespark]

Thanks! I mean, I'll take it over the alternative, it's just...bleh.

[bladespark]

The world is like that right now, it seems.

[bladespark]

I suspect it's a common complaint these days, more or less.

[bladespark]

*fistbumps back* Yeah.

[polyfrazzlemented]

there is no good solution to coping with terrible circumstances. there are only bad and less bad ones.

this is one of the fundamental problems with the fields of psychiatry and psychotherapy.

renny

[adafrog]

Yeah, I hear you on the bleh.

[cornerofmadness]

wish I could say something that would h elp

[silveradept]

Would that we had a world where the antidepressants could get things back to an even keep, rather than providing a small respite for everything that requires you not to poke too hard.

Glad the meds seem to be working, wish we had a better world.

[the_siobhan]

But whenever I think about the future, the planet, this country, any of that, the pit opens up, and it's terror and despair and horror and I'm reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally not coping super well with it.

Oh Gods, this.

[greghousesgf]

I feel that way too.