I have a promotional post I should be doing...

[bladespark]

...but my brain is having thinky thoughts, and I am feeling too scattered to organize everything, even though it'll actually take like ten minutes. :P

I am thinking about names.

Goober child has a classmate named Aidan. (Aiden? I dunno.) This kid appears to be a girl, which annoys me even more than the trendiness of Aidan and its derivatives. It was a rare name when I picked it, with a backstory that meant something to me! And now it's not only everywhere, but the current usage leads people to misgender me! If I introduce myself as "Mike" or whatever, people go "Oh! Right! Guy!" But "Aidan" doesn't do that anymore and I kind of want to scream. IT WAS A MALE NAME WHEN I PICKED IT, GODDAMIT!!!!!!

Ahem.

Anyhow, the other thing about that, though, is that I turn around whenever the teacher calls this kid's name while I'm dropping off my kid at school, lol. I don't turn around for Stephanie quite as readily. There have always been other people named that around, it was pretty common when I was young. There was always another Stephanie, or at least another Tiffany, which sounds the same shouted across a playground, in my classes growing up. So I double checked before answering to it even before I ID'd as trans/as Aidan.

Now hearing Stephanie has that "...Oh, right, I guess that's me?" feel to it.

Which seems to be different from other trans-spectrum types. Most I know hate and loathe their dead name. I don't. It's just very secondary at this point.

Back in the day Stephanie was me, and Aidan was my favorite role-playing character and most comfortable online persona.

Now Aidan is me and Stephanie is my femme alter-ego and sometime writing pen name, since I can't go back and change my old books. I don't hate it, it's just less me than it used to be, that's all.

I'm just as glad, really. I know some people struggle with some pretty deep trauma on getting called by their deadname. Me, I just take a little longer to turn around and answer to it, that's all!

Comments

[zeeth_kyrah]

Sounds like me. I recognize the name I was given by my parents, but the name I'd rather use is one I respond to much more easily.

[duskpeterson]

I wouldn't worry. A names app I have says that, as of 2014 (eleven years after the name Aidan peaked in popularity), 99% of the babies named Aidan were male. What you may be encountering is simply people making assumptions about the gender of a name they haven't heard of before. I have the same problem.

[erulissedances]

I abandoned my birth name when I entered Middle School and never returned to it. It doesn't exist anywhere but in my memories, and the memories aren't necessarily bad, just that it never really was me. I know my father was disappointed, he was the one who had chosen the name for me, but mother, thank goodness, had picked a common name that suited me much better.

You are who/what you are and names are very much a part of that. Sometimes such a small thing can be immensely freeing. Sorry everyone in the world seems to be Aidan now, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's easier to blend in with a crowd.

- Erulisse (one L)

[the_siobhan]

I changed my name 20+ years ago, and I genuinely don't even recognize my old one more. I don't have any emotional reaction to it, it's just... not me.

FWIW Aidan is still very much a male-identified name around my neck of North America.