Expectations

I can remember being eighteen years old, in my first year at college, away from home for the first time, rooming with five other girls in a ridiculously tiny dorm. I didn't really like any of my roommates, but we at least got along well enough most of the time. And being young single females we did a certain amount of chatter and gossip and talking about boys. The other five were dating, some casually some seriously. I was not. My first date wasn't to come for another year yet. There was one of them dating seriously that got engaged towards the end of the year, and of course then all we talked about was marriage. And I said at that time that I was going to be single until I was 27.

It was kind of a joke. I didn't really think it would take me that long to find a guy. I knew I wouldn't get married at 19 or 20 like most of my roommates probably would, of course, but I didn't really expect to take until I was 27. But hey, if it did take that long that wouldn't be too bad, right? It would mean that I could go on my mission, return, send my younger brother off on his mission, wait for him to get back, and then have my entire family at my wedding. It would work out perfectly, really. But what I really thought would happen was that I would go on my mission, I'd do my good bit for God, and when I got back there wouldn't be any reason for me to be single any more, so God would bless me with a guy and I'd get married at 23, or maybe I'd take a year or two, and it'd be 25. But I still said a few times that I'd be single until I was 27, and I'd laugh. 27 was so old. 27 was such a long way off. I was smart, pretty, and no longer painfully shy. I knew a lot of guys. I dated a lot of guys even, surely I'd find one before then...

I turn 29 in just a bit over two months.

I remember being 27 already, and talking about moving to Oregon to be with JJ and get out of the situation I was in at the time. I remember us talking about how it would go, I'd move here, we'd give it a few months to get both our families used to the idea of us together, then we'd get engaged, and by the next year we'd be married.

I've been here ten months now.

Sometimes it's a good thing that my expectations about the future don't get met. But sometimes... sometimes not so much so.

*snicker*

In certain circles there has recently been a big to-do about paypal's "changing" the rule about sexually related sales.

What I find funny is that the previous policy was that all sex items were banned, except those allowed by their guidelines.

The "new" rule is that all sex items are allowed... except those banned by their guidelines.

Tell me I'm not the only one that notices what that actually means?

Yet another fandom bites the dust.

I'm gone. Bye, see you, toodles, cheerio.

I don't claim you people AT ALL. In a mere two months of being involved in the BJD fandom I have been attacked and insulted and belittled and treated poorly more often than I have in TEN YEARS in furry. In fact, more than I have ANYWHERE on the internet except Something Awful.

Feel proud of yourselves, I guess. Little children playing with dolls is what you act like, so that's how I'm going to regard you.

I'm a adult who likes art, so I guess I'll just enjoy my doll by myself, because I do not want to put up with the kind of crap where I can't be myself, can't have an opinion, can't offer debate or disagreement without being viciously attacked. If I wanted that I'd go join Something Awful again.