Let's be positive. (Also, no, I do not ship my SO with his brother...)

So I had a whiny post up here that I regretted. There is absolutely a healthy space for complaining and bitching in one's life, and DW is pretty much the place where I put that, but I think that post in specific was very non-productive and not useful and so I pulled it down.

Instead, have me rambling on about my Thor/Loki AU idea.

( They say to write what you know... )

Decided to post it.

Surrender (Say My Name) (4347 words) by bladespark
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Loki/Thor (Marvel), Loki - Relationship
Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel)
Additional Tags: Happy Ending, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Light Dom/sub, Pseudo-Incest, Electricity, Light Masochism, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Summary:

Loki wanted to conquer, to rule, to see his brother kneel at his feet. But a secret, traitor thought at the back of his mind had always whispered about how good it would be to kneel instead, to be used, to serve. Now, with their ancient animosity at least partly laid to rest, Loki has a chance to admit his secret desire, and to finally surrender to it...and to his brother.

Comments always super welcome. :3 Especially as I feel a little wobbly about writing for a new (to me) and super huge, super popular fandom. It's stepping into a big, crowded space, where there are long established conventions that I have no idea about, and that's always a bit intimidating, even if I know it's also silly to be intimidated about posting a fanfic.

Can't get a break

Every time I get good news, something bad has to happen. Every time I take a step forward, something has to kick me in the teeth.

Jaffa Books, the furry publisher I've been with for years and years now, is closing down. All upcoming releases canceled.

I JUST signed THREE fucking contracts with them!!!!

And none of them are for things I can send elsewhere, either. I mean, the whole furry vampire collection thing felt like a *miracle* that they wanted it, because absolutely nobody publishes single-author short story collections unless the author is fairly famous, which I am so not. Now I have all these stories, several of which are too long to go in the usual dozen-stories-on-a-theme anthology, all of which are quirky and unusual and hard to find homes for, none of which are erotica so I can't dump them in the self-publish queue (if that project even works out because right now it's looking like it might not and I might end up scrapping that too, and having even more unpublishable stories I get to just sit on and do *nothing* with) and I just...

I am completely crushed. I don't expect the world to get handed to me on a silver platter, but I work so hard on my writing, SO, SO, SO, SO HARD, and it seems like every time I get any traction with it at all something has to come along and yank that back. (And that's not even getting into my other bad news today which if I start on that I'm going to end up saying things I probably shouldn't.)

It really feels, though, like I can't get a break. Like I haven't had a success that wasn't immediately tainted or thrown back in my face or turned out to not actually mean anything since... I don't know. Publishing Honey Pie on the ponyfic site in 2014, I guess. But even if that was a pure joy at the time, it also came to failure eventually.

I was so excited. I was going to mail a copy to my paramore who kinda appears in fictional version in one of the stories in The Sanguine Canvas, and now that's just...not happening. For no reason. Because the universe wanted to be cruel to me today.