There really is no such thing as a safe space.

A discord server I *was* in had a room for people to gripe about life stuff. Mostly minor day to day, but sometimes bigger things.

Somebody in there said they hated feeling existentially unreal, and it sucked.

I replied with a *brief* thing about how it did suck, and feeling like (XYZ) was so hard.

They popped back in about an hour later and told me mentioning that had triggered them to have a whole derealization episode, and I HAD to put spoiler tags and warnings over that sort of topic in the future, and this is supposed to be a safe space for us to vent.

WHAT THE FUCKITY FUCK, YOU BROUGHT IT UP, YOU FUCKER, NOT ME!!!!

Obviously I mentioned a little bit of detail and they didn't, but good GODS, the whole inverse-solipsistic existential "I'm not sure if I exist" thing seems super uncommon and I never get to talk about it and finding somebody who could support me and I could support them and we could talk about it together sounded AMAZING and I was so hopeful and then it felt like I got slapped in the face for daring to *also* have a problem.

Anyhow. That was incident two, and there was an incident three, and I'm not in that server anymore, because what's the point being in a place where you can only look, but can't talk without upsetting...well, turns out without upsetting the "in" group who are allowed to say things, and the out group are only allowed to say things that the in group are okay with, more or less.

Ugh.

This is why I keep ending up running community spaces, because it's the only way I can avoid THIS sort of bullshit.