Notice me, senpai!

So I have been having some thinky thoughts this morning about parasocial relationships, and particularly those places where they begin to blur into actual social relationships, friendships, etc.

Obviously there are some parasocial situations that will always stay such. It doesn't matter how I act towards Neil Gaiman, Neil Gaiman is never going to notice me. I can read through every single ancient livejournal entry by Ursula Vernon and think I know her pretty well, but we are not friends and I do not actually know her.

But in fandom spaces in particular it can get kinda mushy. I'm peers with the creators I admire there, after all. I am a fandom creator too. All these people whose art and stories I enjoy, are people who might, perhaps, like my own art and stories, since we are both fans of the same thing. Their fandom discussions are discussions I can join in on, maybe?

So when I like and admire a fandom creator, I try to interact with them. I try to not just leave likes, but also comments. I say things in their discussion threads. I talk to them. Not like a friend, I try not to presume, and not always with much substance, admittedly, but I try. I want to connect with the people I admire. I want senpai to notice me!

Alas, many times this goes nowhere. A lot of fandom creators just...don't respond. Either to anybody (in which case I will bail out pretty fast and just let them be) or specifically to me, which can be upsetting and disappointing, but that's their right, of course. Either way, eventually I stop doing anything other than dropping a like/kudos on folks who never respond to me, and file them as "somebody I can be a fan of, but not a friend."

However, sometimes people do respond. Maybe not to my every comment, or maybe mostly just with "thanks" or whatever, but then there will be a little discussion, we'll have some back and forth, maybe I mention they've given me an idea for a story and they egg me on about wanting to read it, or maybe we talk about mutual headcanons or whatever. At that point we're not "friends" yet, but it's not entirely parasocial, is it? We're socializing, at least a little. And at that point I may well actually write them a story, or draw them a little doodle, or put something I know they like into something else I'm making, just so they can enjoy it.

It's nice! It's been happening a lot with Hades lately, where I've ended up in spontaneous semi-collaborations, writing stuff based on art, getting art based on my writing. I like it a lot. And I like knowing there are people I can leave keysmashing, incoherent comments to and they don't mind, or even people I can leave horny comments or innuendos to, and won't come off like a creep. It's good to have people one feels comfortable around!

This ramble doesn't have a thesis, but I will wrap up by saying that if somebody makes you fan art/writes you a fan story/whatever, for GOD'S SAKE BE ENTHUSED ABOUT IT! It's the WORST feeling, thinking you are to that "we can be fan-nerds together and I will make you things!" and then getting no response or "oh thanks" from somebody who obviously just...doesn't actually give a shit that you went to some effort for them. Come on. Even if you don't want to be friends, still show some fricking appreciation for fanworks of your stuff!

Ahem. This message brought to you by one specific brony. Won't name names, but goddamn some people.

Now I'm headed off to write wild Hades fetish porn inspired by somebody's awesome art on twitter. Good times!