Offense

[bladespark]

'Kay, here's a small request for all of you.

If I ever do something you find rude, upsetting, or offensive. please, PLEASE PLEASE for the love of small furry things, tell me!

If you never tell me, if you just sit and stew and mutter and grumble at me, I can't apologize, I can't change my behavior, I can't do anything about it, so I will blithely go on my way, and will probably do the same thing again later, and you'll just get that much more upset.

I'm not saying I want people to chew me out, or start arguments or drama, I just hate the unpleasant surprise of hearing "this is the last straw, I'm not speaking to you ever again!" when I wasn't aware there'd been a first straw at all. I would just really appreciate a little "Hey, just so you know I'm not happy about this" from folks. Then I can at least try to be aware of what upsets people.

I mean... it's possible you'll tell me "Hey, I don't like when you do this," and all I'll be able to say is "Er, sorry too ingrained, I don't think I can not do it." But if you never mention it, then there's never going to be any chance of my modifying my behavior. I'm blunt, I say what I think, most of the time. If somebody offends me, I let 'em know (witness this recent little round of drama.) I'm probably not going to stop doing so. But I can at least try to know where the sensitive spots are, and to say what I think a little more politely around those areas. And to do that, I need a little feedback, so don't feel you can't tell me when I've been offensive. I'd tell you if I thought you were, you can bet on that!

It is the worst shock in the world to suddenly have somebody I liked, and who I thought liked me, flip out because I've been offending them all along, when I had no idea I'd done anything upsetting. And it's a shock I'd really prefer to avoid.

Comments

[catwoman69y2k.livejournal.com]

Yes. Amen to that! Whats worse is when the people you have offended get even angrier at you out of the fact that you havent read thier mind by now.

This article might be of interest:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/94732/modern_communication_devices_breed.html

[sphix.livejournal.com]

Sometimes people rely too much on nonverbal communication, which is easily fixed. TALK about things, right? I hate it when I'm expected to be a mindreader, and it's evident that you do, too...

[lightgreendryad.livejournal.com]

This is just common sense to me. It's the Internet; clear communication is what drives the entire system.

[thetommydodd.livejournal.com]

Please, please, please, do not feel in any way inhibited about saying exactly and precisely what you think and feel. If I wanted to hear echoes of my own beliefs and opinions, I'd talk to the mirror.

[keplilly.livejournal.com]

Only if you promise to do the same for me. :-)