ARGH

[bladespark]

If I get one more person say I'm their "friend" when I've never even had a single non-business conversation with them I'm going to bite them!

"Allows you to IM me" does not = friend.

"Lets you have access to my contact info" REALLY does not = friend, since I let anybody have that, even people I absolutely hate. It's flipping public information.

Even "Will talk to you" doesn't = friend, because I'll talk to most people, unless they manage to really piss me off. But I think this is going to start becomming a blocking offense. I am SICK to death of people assuming some kind of friendship when they have not even bothered to try the tiniest and simplest efforts to have a real friendship. If you can't answer the question "What are some of their likes and dislikes" for example, you are not a friend! I've you've never asked "How has your day gone?" and actually listened and cared about the answer, you are not a friend!

Friends are people who know each other, and who care about each other. If all you've done is IM stupid memes and random links, that's not friendship. Watching my livejournal is not friendship, nevermind the word that lj uses for it. And looking to me for your emotional needs but not giving a crap about my needs is also not friendship, it's leeching. If you want to be my friend, you need to actually give a damn about my feelings, and not just want to bask in the glow of knowing a fursuit maker, or a female on the internet, or whatever other reason you have to be hanging around. I don't actually mind having "fans" who follow me just to bask in the glow of knowing a fursuit maker, I should add. Many of you have proved to be nice people, but if you don't even know me well enough to know about my personal life, then you're not actually my friends, sorry no. (I do mind the ones whose interest in me has to do with my gender. I'm flipping MARRIED QUIT HITTING ON ME. And some of you reading this had no idea I was married, didn't you? If you didn't know that, you're definitely not a friend. :P)

Grrrrrr.

I am making this rant public because somebody might actually read it and get a clue. If you find yourself offended by this rant, YOU are probably one of the idiots currently pissing me off with this behavior.

Comments

[sparkindarkness.livejournal.com]

Gah I hate that - professional relationship =/= friendship. It's very devaluing of the concept of friend

[wolveblade.livejournal.com]

Had that happen to me too.

I had one person ask to rp with me so I agreed and told them that I will only rp and nothing more.[Meaning nothing about my personal life] So about a month goes by and they find my fb page and flip out because I have boobs. [I only rp as male and he has a life too.] They told me I lied blaa blaa blaa. And they got all upset and in a tizzy and threw a huge fit.

So I reminded them that they wanted to rp with me and I stuck with in my characters parameters. And reminded them that if you wanna rp with me I will only rp nothing more. Nothing personal unless I know them and have met them.

[shadesfox.livejournal.com]

Ugh, such people are awesome! I especially love it when you do something nice for them because they were in a bad way and suddenly they want to immediately become 'ZOMG BFFs!'.

[twizler-skunk.livejournal.com]

so i can't call at 3 am??






*runs before something get thrown at him*

[rain-oubliette.livejournal.com]

Oh God. The whole "you're... a woman???" thing. *Rolls eyes* I mean, going to conventions can be fun but I always use the stairs. Being packed into a full elevator, me being the only female, I've never been that felt up by a BOYFRIEND! Creepy.

I guess that, since you have a more prominent standing in the fandom (being a maker of quality fursuits), people get all clingy and weird. This is one of the reasons that I don't hype my comic strip. I don't think I could deal with the whole "fan" thing.

I don't know if you'd consider me a friend or just a customer. I guess acquaintance would work. However, I find you to be a nice person and we have several things in common. So, a friendship can come out of that... but not some psycho "OMG! BFF!" kind of thing because I'm just way too old for that crap. :S

I often wonder about our fandom. Why does it attract so many lonely/desperate people? And people who have no social skills? My brain just can't comprehend that.

[derakon.livejournal.com]

I don't think the furry fandom is especially unusual in that regard. If you look at sci-fi, sports, etc. you'll find plenty of obsessive, poorly socially-adjusted people. I think it's more that the fannish mentality has a relatively high correlation with other...undesirable attributes.

Mind, there is the sex/porn undercurrent in the furry fandom, which is much less expressed in other fandoms. I guess that might have something to do with it. Fan + socially maladjusted + opposite gender = "Must mate!"

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

I suspect it has more to do with the fact that furry is VERY much an escapism kind of thing. A huge part of the fandom centers around picturing *yourself* as somebody other than who you are, the "fursona" thing that nearly all furries do. And that really does attract the socially maladjusted. Many of us simply enjoy exercising our imaginations and picturing "what if I were an animal?" But for many more it's not "what if I were an animal" it's "I hate being me/hate being human, I want to be something/somebody else."

So it's not so much the sexual undercurrent (which is massively exaggerated, honestly. I keep saying that, but it's *true*, furries are no hornier than anime fans or Trekkies) it's the escapist thing. And the association with childrens cartoons also throws in a heavy dose of Peter Pan Syndrome, just to add to the fun.

[lightgreendryad.livejournal.com]

It's sad that you have to make this a public entry. I'm not saying that you're pathetic or anything, but rather that some people just won't get a clue otherwise. How frustrating.

[p3nsive.livejournal.com]

I can name atleast 3 of your interests and I knew you're married...does that mean we can be BFFS? 8D