Newsflash!

[bladespark]

In case you people somehow managed to miss the last one, here it is again: I am emotionally unstable right now. This is not going to change any time soon. You poke me, you're equally likely to get a "meh" of angstful disinterest, to have me fall over giggling madly, or to have me bite the finger off.

If you can't cope with that, I suggest you remove me from your friends list, and avoid having any contact with me until next fall, by which time (I pray to God!) I will have managed to get on top of this @$%@#$ depression.

(How many times am I going to have to say this before it sinks in? Eesh! Is it that my apparent rationality at times causes you all to forget or something?)

Comments

[wanderingbhikkh.livejournal.com]

I'm still WTFing.

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

Questions are allowed. Results may vary.

(Or in other words, you can ask for details, but depending on who you ask you're going to get a radically different story.)

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

Also, the above-mentioned emotional instability has nothing to do with current drama, except that it was a contributing factor. I have been unstable since November. I have noted this on TWO previous occasions when I was involved in FLEETdrama, but nobody seems to have remembered.

[draxynnic.livejournal.com]

Sounds like taking a break could be exactly what you need to do. I hope you recover from whatever is causing your instability with all speed.

Please do try poking your nose back in when you do. I expect you'll be missed more than you think.

[starkruzr.livejournal.com]

Is this part of the reason you're staying out of #fleet? Because of this factor, you're convinced it'll just happen again?

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

Reasons for staying out of fleet, not in any particular order:

I've been told that they're better off without me by one person.

I've been told that I'm better off without them by several.

Yes, this will happen again if I go back. This makes four times I've "over reacted," you know.

Nobody has expressed any interest in my return. Obviously I am not so greatly missed that a single day of my absence has had any impact.

[starkruzr.livejournal.com]

*I* miss you. :(

I sparked (pardon the pun) a conversation about this earlier today and quite a debate was had. I definitely wasn't the only one on the side of sensitivity.

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

All the "pro-sensitivity" arguments in the world do me no good if nobody tells me about them.

Oh, and I forgot one other reason. I STILL maintain that McM's original point is incorrect! You can't use Mormonism, or any other religion for that matter, as a predictor of how Scientology is going to develop, because Scientology is not a religion. It's not even "apples and oranges." It's like trying to predict the behavior of oranges based on the behavior of chalk, or something. I'm right, damnit! *chuckles* (Not that I really want to debate the point further. But I did say earlier I wasn't going to back down on that one, and I meant it.)

[2dlife.livejournal.com]

You are right. Scientology is missing key elements of religion and is bizzare enough that it's difficult to fit to other models. He's also right. Nothing in the current perception of Scientology prevents it from later gaining respect. Other factors may do so, but just being considered weird by the majority of the world's population isn't one of them. The fact that they use brainwashing techniques or a pyramid scheme of ascension levels is probably going to be a primary cause of their undoing, in my opinion. Although, not knowing about their belief system, I can't really make further judgements on how it even all fits together.

We all respond to different things and unfortunately use our own experiences to guide how we perceive other people to perceive us. If you ask many of us, I think that a few would say that they were acknowledging how you felt by addressing the root of it: a single comment. In my worldview, if I'm upset about something and later find that it was just a big misunderstanding, I feel better. It seems, however, you would have liked us to address your feelings directly, but please understand that it is hard for us (I should say, me) to consider feelings in a vacuum. Maybe it's a guy thing, maybe I just repress my feelings and compartmentalize until they don't exist anymore. For me emotions have causes and it's hard to separate the two. I know I come across as dismissive, and I'm sorry. However, I really have a hard time seeing your depth of feeling since it's beyond the scope of my own experiences and attempts that would, for me, make me feel better in this case, seem to only hurt you more.

But please understand that we care... and even though we only come across as more callous and totally unhelpful, we have to try. Because that's what friends do, even in their bumbling ways, they must forge ahead with attempts at support. And that's probably the biggest sign we could put up that we want you back.

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *smiles*

I think the issue was that I was seeing everyone's attempts to show it was a misunderstanding as attempts to prove I was wrong. Which just felt like a further attack, rather than seeming helpful.

That is one unfortunate thing about online communication, you lose a lot of the nuances of tone, and an attack can sounds the same as an affirmation if you're not careful.

[mcmartin.livejournal.com]

Well, yes. We do in fact have some fundamental disagreements, and they weren't on the bits of the surface either. (To my recollection, neither of us threw a fact at the other that the other denied.) (It's unclear whether the underlying disagreement is due to a differing appraisal of facts or of differing values; if the latter case, it would be that I'm totally OK with using chalk to predict certain aspects of the behavior of oranges, or with using oranges as a touchstone of normality when evaluating chalk, or whatnot. In any event, from my POV, it's a minor difference in the grand scheme of things.)

(I'm also perfectly willing to let the debate die, though should you feel feisty and want to resurrect it later, I've got two interesting new candidates for "apples" sitting around now which I wouldn't have had if not for the battle. So don't think you had no effect, either.)

Also, as for the reasons for staying out of #fleet, I can't speak for the latter three reasons, but you can count me among those who deny that they're better off without you. It's always ultimately your choice, of course.

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

It might well be worth debating further sometime, now that I've calmed down over the issue. *smiles*

As for returning to #fleet, I don't see it happening any time soon. I've got anther endeavor I'm putting my energies into right now, and it's getting most of my attention. (Rather a fun little project called Free Space. If you're interested in a free-form collaborative universe, or universes rather, you're welcome to participate. It's where I'm stowing the Overlcan now that I've pulled them out of the F-verse.)

[porphrygene.livejournal.com]

Just curious, but why would you want to go back if you're so anti scientology anyway?:) You're strong without 'em!

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

Fleet is anti-Scientology too, m'dear. It's just that by being anti-Scientology, and then making a comparison between that and Mormonism, they managed to quite thoroughly upset me.

[porphrygene.livejournal.com]

Oooh ohhh okay. I read the thing that you wrote me wrong, then I guess. I thought it was pro-scientology...Hehe, okay. I understand now...Sorry.:

[porphrygene.livejournal.com]

*whimper*......*nuzzle*

[rakul.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sorry to hear about being unstable SPark, I know what depression is like, though mine is caused by body chemistry this time. I do hope you feel better soon *hugs and comforts*

[kira-chan.livejournal.com]

*offers hugs and that you can bite her fingers if you wish when she pokes you* Love you, honey. Here's to hoping you feel better soon. I'm not around much, but I'm always ready to listen and comfort, be it by phone, IRC, IM, or e-mail.