So I really want to babble today...

[bladespark]

In every heart, there is a room,
A sanctuary safe and strong,
To heal the wounds of lovers past,
Until a new one comes along.

I spoke to you in cautious tones.
You answered me with no pretense.
But still I feel I've said too much.
My silence is my self defence.

And every time I've held a rose,
It seems I've only felt the thorns.
And so it goes, and so it goes,
And so will you soon I suppose.

But I would choose to be with you,
That's if the choice were mine to make.
But you can make decisions too,
And you can have my heart to break.

But if my silence, made you leave,
Then that would be my worst mistake.
So I will share this room with you,
And you can have my heart to break.

And this is why my eyes are closed.
It's just as well, for all I've seen.
And so it goes, and so it goes,
And you're the only one who knows.

So I would chose to be with you,
That's if the choice were mine to make.
But you can make decisions too,
And you can have this heart to break.

And so it goes, and so it goes,
And you're the only one who knows.



Why am I in such a philosophical mood of late? I've meandered on in LJ and over at my forum... but I just can't manage to discuss things like this in person, or even one-on-one in chats very often. Why can I always find the words for soliloquy and never for conversation? I guess I'm just not a verbal person. I have a hard time expressing myself so often. And yet I sit down to write, and it just flows. *sighs*

The song, by the way, is in there becuase I love that song, and because it says something else about why I can't come up with the right words... when something really matters to me, when there's somebody I care about, it's just that much harder. I should be able to trust, but it's hard. Talking about relationships is dificult. Saying how you feel is one of the hardest things to say, whether what you want to say is "I love you" or "I'm sorry, I don't."

There are only one or two people out there that I've discussed any of the things that really mean anything to me with. I guess to you I have to say thanks for being there.

Comments

[justplainbob.livejournal.com]

And the only song I can think of that...I dunno...counterpoints And So It Goes is A Matter of Trust...

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will, it's just a question of when
I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
But that won't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust

I know you're an emotional girl
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world
I can't offer you proof
But you're gonna face a moment of truth
It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust

You can't go the distance
With too much resistance
I know you have doubts
But for God's sake don't shut me out

This time you've got nothing to lose
You can take it, you can leave it
Whatever you choose
I won't hold back anything
And I'll walk away a fool or a king
Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make believe until it's only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust

I'm sure you're aware love
We've both had our share of
Believing too long
When the whole situation was wrong

Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why
Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
Because it's always been a matter of trust

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

Yes... Billy Joel realy does have a song for all occasions, doesn't he?