The dark side.
Jul. 4th, 2007 04:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
bladesparkSo I'm having a conversation... No, not a conversation. I'm insulting an idiotic furry on the internet. It's not exactly an intellectual give and take. It's more like shooting fish in a barrel. And I got to thinking. I just told him that I'm a horrible person who enjoys insulting people if given half the chance, so I wasn't going to go away until he either shut up, or started crying.
Which to some of you who know me may seem rather out of character. After all, to you guys I'm quite nice, kind, polite, and even go out of my way to do nice things sometimes.
Does it make me some kind of raging two-faced hypocrite to be nice to some people and cruel to others?
I guess in a certain sense it does. But thinking about the reasons why I enjoy being practically troll-ish, I came up with some interesting thoughts. The first is that I do have a YinWolf, and shi doesn't just like physical violence, she's pretty fond of emotional violence too. NOT, as has once been claimed, of being abusive to people I care about, no not at all. Rather, shi likes the chance to cut loose with a cutting remark. There's no manipulation, and no attempt to do serious harm. There's just a "clean" insult. It's satisfying. It's a very guilty pleasure, which I am aware can actually do harm to another person, particularly if they have a fragile ego, so it's a pleasure that I deny myself very nearly all the time.
But... but there are those times when somebody trolls me, and once that happens, I know I'm not dealing with an innocent. I'm dealing with somebody else who loves the hurtful remark, and somebody who's fonder of it than I, because they've unleashed it without provocation. So I retaliate in kind, and it's a good chance to blow off steam without guilt.
And then there are the idiots. With them... honestly with them I do feel a little guilt. They may be stupid, irritating, and annoying, but that doesn't mean the deserve ill-treatment. They haven't invited it the way a troll has. But I still haul out the arsenal of cruel words with them. And I do so because of hard experience.
I used to be nice to them. I used to kindly correct them. I used to try and gently hint how annoying they were, and attempt to help them become better people. And when I couldn't stand them any more I used to try to ignore them, or to find some kind way to tell them I don't want to talk to them. And it never worked! Once you're nice and sympathetic to somebody who has no social skill and few friends, you are their Best Buddy. They want to talk to you. They call you their friend after one conversation. They constantly bother you, and in my case it was bad enough that I was actually turning off my IMs, even though it can cost me business when a customer can't find me, because I just didn't want to have to try one more time to head off the too-friendly, inept, irritating advances. So finally I snapped, and told one of them exactly what I thought of him.
And he went away! He never spoke to me again! OMG! And so I started being rude. I hate being rude. I really do. And yet at the same time... man it felt good! It felt sooooooooooooo good! No more gentle correction, just tell them honestly what I think of them! And they leave me alone. Woot!
I really, really, really do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But man... it is such a guilty pleasure to cut loose and let somebody know exactly how annoying they really are.
And hopefully this will be reassuring to anybody who thinks they're driving me crazy. If you were driving me crazy, you'd know! *grin*
Which to some of you who know me may seem rather out of character. After all, to you guys I'm quite nice, kind, polite, and even go out of my way to do nice things sometimes.
Does it make me some kind of raging two-faced hypocrite to be nice to some people and cruel to others?
I guess in a certain sense it does. But thinking about the reasons why I enjoy being practically troll-ish, I came up with some interesting thoughts. The first is that I do have a YinWolf, and shi doesn't just like physical violence, she's pretty fond of emotional violence too. NOT, as has once been claimed, of being abusive to people I care about, no not at all. Rather, shi likes the chance to cut loose with a cutting remark. There's no manipulation, and no attempt to do serious harm. There's just a "clean" insult. It's satisfying. It's a very guilty pleasure, which I am aware can actually do harm to another person, particularly if they have a fragile ego, so it's a pleasure that I deny myself very nearly all the time.
But... but there are those times when somebody trolls me, and once that happens, I know I'm not dealing with an innocent. I'm dealing with somebody else who loves the hurtful remark, and somebody who's fonder of it than I, because they've unleashed it without provocation. So I retaliate in kind, and it's a good chance to blow off steam without guilt.
And then there are the idiots. With them... honestly with them I do feel a little guilt. They may be stupid, irritating, and annoying, but that doesn't mean the deserve ill-treatment. They haven't invited it the way a troll has. But I still haul out the arsenal of cruel words with them. And I do so because of hard experience.
I used to be nice to them. I used to kindly correct them. I used to try and gently hint how annoying they were, and attempt to help them become better people. And when I couldn't stand them any more I used to try to ignore them, or to find some kind way to tell them I don't want to talk to them. And it never worked! Once you're nice and sympathetic to somebody who has no social skill and few friends, you are their Best Buddy. They want to talk to you. They call you their friend after one conversation. They constantly bother you, and in my case it was bad enough that I was actually turning off my IMs, even though it can cost me business when a customer can't find me, because I just didn't want to have to try one more time to head off the too-friendly, inept, irritating advances. So finally I snapped, and told one of them exactly what I thought of him.
And he went away! He never spoke to me again! OMG! And so I started being rude. I hate being rude. I really do. And yet at the same time... man it felt good! It felt sooooooooooooo good! No more gentle correction, just tell them honestly what I think of them! And they leave me alone. Woot!
I really, really, really do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But man... it is such a guilty pleasure to cut loose and let somebody know exactly how annoying they really are.
And hopefully this will be reassuring to anybody who thinks they're driving me crazy. If you were driving me crazy, you'd know! *grin*
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no subject
Date: 2007-07-04 11:44 am (UTC)And he went away! He never spoke to me again! OMG!/i>
i just HAVE to ask... was it Romani? XD
no subject
Date: 2007-07-04 11:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-04 11:49 am (UTC)Romani requires rudeness, ive found. XD
no subject
Date: 2007-07-04 12:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-04 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-04 06:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-05 06:33 am (UTC)Doesn't make you a bad person on balance, just someone who's trying not to be swamped over by idiocies.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-05 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-05 06:50 am (UTC)Some people are just asking for it, but as long as you're taking into consideration some of their emotional factors, I don't see any reason to hold back if your point of view needs to be stated. Be blunt, but without malice.
I had a stalker once, (well, actually, i've had two... but this was the more personal one) The guy followed me places, came to my house uninvited, monopolized my time at social events, etc. The guy really creeped me out. I don't think I ever saw him blink... and he spoke monotone, and ugh! he was creepy. After a few weeks of this getting more and more prevelant, I finally told him, I just really didn't like being around him. It worked! I didn't see him for two weeks... (turned out he called the suicide hotline that night and some police? came and picked him up and checked him into an institution)
Anyhow... I had let it go on long enough, and his reaction was his alone... eight years later, I've seen him a few times, and you know what? he seems better... not a ton, but he's not nearly as uncomfortable to be around. I guess he must've gotten some self-help books or something. Whatever... you take a chance when you do stuff like that... My nephew took a girl on a pity date in highschool, and when he told her, "No, I don't want to get married or anything like that..." (he was a lot more polite when he said it than I was) She actually did commit suicide. It bothered him for years and years. He had to go to counselling 'cause he felt like it was his fault... it wasn't, of course... according to the note, she had just been so emotionally abused at school, that his rejection seemed like the last straw.
Anyhow... I'm not sure where I was going with all that... maybe just that people on the internet are also real people, and it's more fun to spar with an equal than to stomp out someone in need of understanding... though that has nothing to do with the stories... I need to get some sleep. goodnight.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-11 03:26 pm (UTC)People are complicated and some places just bring out different sides of us (I won't say the worst in us because it's not only true). the net is one of those places - it gives us room to vent and even to play with our vindicitive side - and at the same time you get a lot of ignorant morons with the IQ of stunned fish wandering about who positively need ridiculing.
It's fine to elt the dark side go when it is in an appropriate venue.